Mother Klunkers

pta

admin — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:26:18 +0000

When my son was in first grade, I went to parent-teacher conferences. That was the last time I stepped into any of his schools until he graduated.

smokes

admin — Mon, 12 Jul 2010 14:25:27 +0000

To save money, I bought a cigarette rolling machine. But I hate using it, so I pay my 12 year old a dollar a pack to roll them for me.

rollerblades

admin — Mon, 28 Jun 2010 15:32:24 +0000

I realized what a bad idea it was to let my ten yr. old push the stroller in roller blades when we got to the hill.

Bulimia

admin — Thu, 24 Jun 2010 01:55:08 +0000

One day after dinner, I flopped onto the couch and moaned that I had eaten too much. My mom suggested I vomit because it would make me feel better and it would get rid of all those extra calories. Nice pushing bulimia, Mom.

Drivers’ Ed

admin — Mon, 21 Jun 2010 15:38:39 +0000

I failed my first road test in drivers ed for being to defensive of a driver.Why? Because my mom sat in the center of the back seat, where I could see her in the rear view mirror, and cringed every time I did anything. My grandmother had to take me for my second one.

socks

admin — Fri, 18 Jun 2010 17:16:22 +0000

My dad drives in his socks–especially gross in the winter when the car is all closed up and the heat is on. His car smells like an old gym bag.

Bikini

admin — Thu, 17 Jun 2010 01:37:35 +0000

My mom told me I shouldn’t wear tank tops because they make me look like a slut. Oddly, she has no objections to my bikini.

I got a feeling…

admin — Mon, 14 Jun 2010 12:43:25 +0000

At our last family reunion, my dad was singing that ‘Tonight’s Gonna Be a Good Night” song while dancing down the dock–he fell in the lake and had to be rescued by my also drunk grandfather.

Glasses

admin — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 17:31:03 +0000

Everyone in my entire family has 20/20 vision so I thought my son was just making excuses for his bad grades when he said he couldn’t see the board–I found out he desperately needed glasses after the health department visited his school and tested everyone.

couch

admin — Sun, 13 Jun 2010 17:29:45 +0000

My toddler’s diaper leaked all over my mother-in-law’s new sofa. I told her my nephew, who was being potty trained, had an accident.